In this article, we have featured Elon Musk Quotes Funny In 2024 Ashlee Vance’s new book, “Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future,” is a fantastic look into the world’s most important entrepreneur for anyone interested in technology, entrepreneurship, or the cost of greatness.
Vance paints an unforgettable portrait of Musk’s distinct personality, insatiable drive, and ability to thrive in the face of adversity. The book is brimming with telling anecdotes and quotes that shed light on who Musk is. Here are a few examples:
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Top 100 Elon Musk Quotes Funny
“Seems like an opportune moment to bring up the Fermi Paradox, aka ‘where are the aliens?’ Really odd that we see no sign of them.”
“We’re trying to have the non-weird future get here as fast as possible.” (via Inverse)
“If there was a way that I could not eat, so I could work more, I would not eat. I wish there was a way to get nutrients without sitting down for a meal.”
“My mentality is that of a samurai. I would rather commit seppuku than fail.”
“I would tell those people they will get to see their families a lot when we go bankrupt.”
“My family fears that the Russians will assassinate me.”
“I don’t believe in the process. In fact, when I interview a potential employee and he or she says that ‘it’s about the process,’ I see that as a bad sign.”
“Like why did you go steal Tesla’s E? Like you’re some sort of fascist army marching across the alphabet, some sort of Sesame Street robber?”
“I would like to allocate more time to dating, though. I need to find a girlfriend. That’s why I need to carve out just a little more time. I think maybe even another five to 10 — how much time does a woman want a week? Maybe 10 hours? That’s kind of the minimum? I don’t know.”
“Despite intense efforts to raise money, including a last-ditch mass sale of Easter Eggs, we are sad to report that Tesla has gone completely and totally bankrupt. So bankrupt, you can’t believe it.”
“Everybody around here has slid in their lobbies. I’m actually wondering about putting in a roller coaster-like a functional roller coaster at the factory in Fremont. You’d get in, and it would take you around [the] factory but also up and down. Who else has a roller coaster? … It would probably be really expensive, but I like the idea of it.”
“Traffic is driving me nuts. Am going to build a tunnel boring machine and just start digging…”
“Real fraud going on is a denial of climate science. As for “subsidies”, Tesla gets pennies on dollar vs coal. How about we both go to zero?”
“At least when there’s an evil dictator, that human is going to die. But for an AI, there will be no death — it would live forever. And then you would have an immortal dictator from which we could never escape.”
“Boring bonehead questions are not cool … These questions are so dry. They’re killing me.”
“Oh and uh short burn of the century coming soon. Flamethrowers should arrive just in time.”
“Going to create a site where the public can rate the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication. Thinking of calling it Pravda …”
“Every mode of transport that we use – whether it planes, trains, automobiles, bikes, horses – is reusable, but not rockets. So we must solve this problem in order to become a space-faring civilization.”
“The basic premise is that it’s better to try to address some of the world’s problems than to create an aristocracy of wealth”
“They have about three weeks before their short position explodes.”
“You’re a horrible human being.”
“One bit of advice: it is important to view knowledge as sort of a semantic tree – make sure you understand the fundamental principles, ie the trunk and big branches, before you get into the leaves/details or there is nothing for them to hang on to.”
“Like why did you go steal Tesla’s E? Like you’re some sort of fascist army marching across the alphabet, some sort of Sesame Street robber?”
“I think there’s a good vibe — I think the energy is good; go to Ford, it looks like a morgue.”
“Sorry pedo guy, you really did ask for it.”
“Weighing too much on someone’s talent and not someone’s personality. I think it matters whether someone has a good heart.”
“You don’t think it’s strange he hasn’t sued me? He was offered free legal services. And you call yourself @yoda …”
“I suggest that you call people you know in Thailand, find out what’s actually going on, and stop defending child rapists, you f—— a——.”
“Investor support is confirmed. The only reason why this is not certain is that it’s contingent on a shareholder vote.”
“So next I went to Russia three times, in late 2001 and 2002, to see if I could negotiate the purchase of two ICBMs [missiles]. Without the nukes, obviously.”
“If the odds are probably in your favor, you should make as many decisions as possible within the bounds of what is executable.”
“Just want to that the Shortseller Enrichment Commission is doing incredible work. And the name change is so on point!”
“If you have anyone who can do a better job, please let me know. They can have the job. Is there someone who can do the job better? They can have the reins right now.”
“So in desperation, we are going to build a tunnel, and maybe that tunnel will be successful. And maybe it won’t.”
“Seems like an opportune moment to bring up the Fermi Paradox, aka ‘Where are the aliens?’ Really odd that we see no sign of them. Btw, please don’t mention the pyramids. Stacking stone blocks is not evidence of an advanced civilization. The rumor that I’m building a spaceship to get back to my home planet Mars is totally untrue. The ancient Egyptians were amazing, but if aliens built the pyramids, they would’ve left behind a computer or something.”
“When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.”
“Elon Musk Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is a disaster.”
“Elon Musk If something’s important enough, you should try. Even if – the probable outcome is a failure.”
“Patience is a virtue, and I’m learning patience. It’s a tough lesson.”
“It’s OK to have your eggs in one basket as long as you control what happens to that basket.”
“I think you should always bear in mind that entropy is not on your side.”
“I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.”
“In the distant future, people may outlaw driving cars because it’s too dangerous. You can’t have a person driving a two-ton death machine.”
“There have to be reasons that you get up in the morning and you want to live. Why do you want to live? What’s the point? What inspires you? What do you love about the future? If the future does not include being out there among the stars and being a multi-planet species, I find that incredibly depressing.”
“When I was in college, I wanted to be involved in things that would change the world.”
“I think there should be regulations on social media to the degree that it negatively affects the public good.”
“Really, the only thing that makes sense is to strive for greater collective enlightenment.”
“We have essentially no patents in SpaceX. Our primary long-term competition is in China — if we published patents, it would be farcical, because the Chinese would just use them as a recipe book.”
“There’s a fundamental difference, if you look into the future, between a humanity that is a space-faring civilization, that’s out there exploring the stars … compared with one where we are forever confined to Earth until some eventual extinction event.”
“Arguably we should hope that that’s true, because otherwise if civilization stops advancing, that may be due to some calamitous event that erases civilization. So maybe we should be hopeful that this is a simulation, because otherwise… We are either going to create simulations indistinguishable from reality or civilization ceases to exist.”
“My family fears that the Russians will assassinate me.” — Elon Musk
“We all worked 20 hours a day, and he worked 23 hours.” — Julie Ankenbrandt on working with Musk at the start-up X.com, which would later merge with Confinity and lead to what we know as PayPal.
“I remember him saying, ‘Being with me was choosing the hard path.’ I didn’t quite understand at the time, but I do now. It’s quite hard, quite the crazy ride.” — Talulah Riley, who has twice been divorced from Musk.
“I remember thinking it was a lot of drama, and that if I was going to put up with it, we might as well be married. I told him he should just propose to me.” — Justine Musk recalling an argument with Elon while walking near the X.com offices. After calming down he proposed on the sidewalk.
“I’d seen him before but did worry that maybe he could have an off day. Still, I thought, he would maybe hit one gonad but not both.” — Elon Musk, discussing how he held balloons in his hands and between his legs at one of his birthday parties, and let a knife thrower pop the balloons.
“We’ve grown [expletive] soft.” — Elon Musk, after Vance noted that hundreds of people were working at Tesla’s headquarters on a Saturday.
